Season 2 Episode 13: Embracing The Femminine: Yin Yoga Nidra & Pregnancy yoga with viv quilliam
Welcome to Be Still and Notice, a Yoga Podcast. Join me, your host, Yoga and Meditation Instructor Helen Taylor, to dive deeply into the vast ocean of wisdom that is yoga. Explore with me how these ancient practices can help heal and elevate us physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually in an ultra modern world. Together we'll deepen our practice, explore our connection to divinity and our own inner landscapes with the help of special guests, guided meditations, how-tos, and all so much more. Yoga has the incredible power to change your life on every level, and it all begins with stillness. Now let's begin.
In this episode, I am so grateful to have my beautiful friend Vic Quilliam on. Vic is has been a friend of mine for I think approaching 10 years now. She's a really close friend of mine. She's an amazing yoga teacher. We've worked together at festivals and and women's circles and all sorts of bits together. And it's really fascinating how Vic's yoga career has unfolded with her life. And she is a Yoga Nidra teacher, a Hatha Vinyasa teacher, and she also teaches pregnancy and postnatal yoga and yin yoga. So she's also a mum. She lives in Spain with her husband and her two and a half-year-old. And Vic is really sharing how becoming a mum has changed her yoga practice, has fundamentally how it's changed her teaching, um, how she looks at her own body, how she practices her yoga, and she talks also about yin ad pregnancy yoga, two subjects that I know next to nothing about. So it's a really lovely conversation. We are good friends, so there's quite a bit of giggling going on. At some points, you can hear some doggy noises, so apologies for that, that's just towards the end. Um, but it's a really lovely conversation, and this one is for the mamas out there. So hopefully, there's a lot here that you can relate to in terms of your yoga practice, and perhaps we'll inspire you moving forwards. So get yourself nice and comfy, get a nice cup of tea. Why not even have a biscuit or a piece of cake on me and enjoy this next episode? Thank you so much.
Hello everyone, welcome to the podcast. This is so exciting. I have one of my closest and loveliest friends, an all-time amazing yoga teacher, Vic Quilliam, has come on today, and she is a Hatha Vinyasa yoga teacher, but she's also a yin instructor, a yoga nidra instructor, and a pregnancy and postnatal yoga teacher. Um, how are you, Vic?
“Yeah, hi, I'm good, thank you. Nice to be here. Thanks for having me.”
Oh, you're so welcome. Thank you so much for joining. So, this one is really for the mothers out there because, as you know, I don't have kids, and so pregnancy yoga is something I know very little about, and I know very little about yin yoga. I do teach a little bit of yoga nidra, but I know that you've you've had a lot of training in that. So I thought it would be really lovely to invite you on and have you talk about all of these aspects and how motherhood has affected your changed your practice, and um you can tell us all about yin and pregnancy yoga, postnatal yoga. So tell me, tell me what brought you to yoga in a little bit about your yoga story. What brought you to yoga in the first place? Right back at the beginning.
SPEAKER_025:23
I I was in my twenties, and um I I actually just joined it was it was a gym yoga class, so the classic way, and I think that a lot of people get into yoga is like I saw that yoga was on and I'd never tried it before, and I thought, yeah, I'll give it a go. And at the start, it was you know, it was a a physical thing mostly. The teacher actually had the at the gym that I went to was actually really he did for a gym class, he did weave in quite a lot of the spiritual side of it, and obviously with the pranayama, with the breathing and everything, like he he was a proper yoga class, but he shall I know, and he was really just the most gentle, lovely man and amazing teacher, and I I think he was kind of like my first inspiration in terms of a teacher figure, um, but it just became like each week, it just became this real like safe space, and I'd always look forward to going to classes. Um, even though I was really tight because I you know I'd done a lot of sports um when I was younger and a lot of um dance and things like that, but I'd I'd um and I'd been I just I was just starting out um working, so I was sitting at a desk quite a lot and things like that, and so I my body was so tight, yeah so but it so for me it it was challenging, it was a real challenge, um but but I I didn't kind of at that point feel put off by not being able to do poses and stuff. I think because he was such a an amazing teacher, and also in this gym there were quite a lot of variety of ages, it wasn't all you know, it was a lot of women who were actually in their like like 50s and 60s and stuff in my in my class, so it felt like a real yeah, like he offered lots of modifications and things like that. So it felt really yeah, it was just a really amazing space, and um, and from there I then so I I went for like two years when I was living, this was when I was living in Leicester, and then um I moved to London, and then that's when it kind of like I started attending all these studios, which obviously uh like specific yoga studios, very different, very like quite I was going to quite dynamic classes, you know, flowing uh Hatha Vinyasa, and um I even was trying all types of different things, rocket yoga, definitely not one for me. I remember you going to rocket probably back then, um but I think and then uh yeah, and then I kind of I was just in and out of classes regularly, um but it was always kind of like a class-based thing, like I would go to a class and that that would be like my practice. Um and then and then I try to think when it kind of and then so yeah, I was doing all sorts I did hot yoga as well. I got into that. I got really got addicted to the hot yoga for a while. Um when I was living in Brighton.
SPEAKER_008:58
I did a couple of hot yoga classes. I remember I did it as part of a date, actually. It was when I was dating, and this guy was really into hot yoga. So our first date was a hot yoga class, do you remember? And I actually really enjoyed it apart from the sweaty, like they didn't clean the room afterwards properly. There was so no really unhygienic, but I felt amazing afterwards. I could see how it could be addictive.
SPEAKER_029:27
Yeah, I think I found that that is quite it's quite a m it was quite a masculine environment now looking back on it. This kind of like you know, sweating out, um really uh because it was the same postures class class each class, so which was great for kind of seeing development, but I think that's really a kind of quite a masculine way of seeing yoga as this kind of like like pushing and goals and getting better at it almost. Um that and so that's what kind of pushed me away from it in the end, and it for me it kind of had a I don't want to say like cult, but it had this very like kind of um everyone was kind of like quite clicky and stuff who went, and the teacher had favourites and stuff like that, and it and then I know all these things that have come out about um what's his name, the Vikram and all those kind of things, yeah.
I kind of like started to get those kind of feelings, so I stepped away from it. Um and then kind of and then I actually found a female teacher close to me when I was living in Hertfordshire when when we met. And um, and and she was an amazing teacher, and she actually and um by going to her classes I kind of I don't know what it was that uh clicked in me. I think that I wanted to know more, basically. I think I was in I was working at the time in my corporate job in events, and um I I just wasn't enjoying it. It felt it it wasn't fulfilling me, it didn't, you know, I I didn't I felt like there was something missing and that I needed to do something else, and and maybe it was because every week when I went to classes I had felt this like sense of coming home almost, and obviously by doing the practices coming home to myself, but also coming to a part of me that um that needed needed to explore because there was something about yoga that made me want look at my life and what what it was and realize that it wasn't this wasn't what I should be doing, yeah.
SPEAKER_0012:00
And so um I don't know, I was just I was just thinking, I didn't want to interrupt you, but I was just thinking it's really interesting what you were just saying about the hot yoga and the male kind of masculine energy, and everything that you've trained in is very feminine on the female side, isn't it? And I was just making a little bit of connection because obviously, when we met, my husband at the time was working in events, you were working in events, you you met your now husband who's working in events, and events is a very fast, crazy, very male-driven environment, would you say?
SPEAKER_0212:44
Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely, yeah, and I think that kind of fast pace. I just yeah, there was just obviously a part of me that knew that they needed to have another side to slow down, to um reconnect, and I that's yeah, I think that's what kept pulling me back to yoga, and it and I needed it. If I hadn't have had that with the pace at which I was going, I would have combusted. So um, yeah, and gradually over the years it's just like been, you know, kind of pushed, you know, that's been pushed further and further out of my priority, um, that kind of way of working. Um, and now it's fully in this, you know, the feminine, the moving slowly, um balance, and um yeah, it was actually it was actually because doing the Hatha Vinyasa, you know, the the main yoga training that everyone does, um that was looking back on it now, you know, obviously you have to learn the postures, uh the asanas, so it's you know, you have to be everything is quite rigid, and you know, a a trick and asana should look like this, and your arms need to be here, and you need to be like this, and you need to be like this, and it was very much so, and you needed to learn that stuff, obviously, um, in order to teach, but actually that was quite you know, in a way, quite it's all it was all designed for the male body, and it was only actually when I did my pregnancy teacher training that I realized that realised that that it that the the female body is so different and needs to and the poses need to be modified for that, and not only the female body, but every single body is different, and yeah, you know it's not one size fits all, and so I really think that the pregnancy teacher training was actually what really pushed me into the more um slower pace of yoga.
I think previously when I was teaching, I was teaching quite like flowy classes, but they were they were like going from pos to pose to pose without any like pause almost. Yeah. Um and it was very, you know, it was physical and um but I think it yeah, that kind of quite dynamic practice was was maybe because I was still at that working and that pace in general in my life.
SPEAKER_0015:48
So um what was it that brought you to because I haven't mentioned I meant to say at the beginning, but you're a mum. So you have you have a lovely little boy, he's is he nearly two now? Is he two?
SPEAKER_0216:05
He's two and a half, he's two and a half now.
SPEAKER_0016:08
Oh my god, I can't believe he's getting so big so quickly. Oh, he's beautiful, and but you actually you did I remember correct me if I got this wrong, but you did your pregnancy teacher training before you become a mum yourself.
SPEAKER_0216:27
Yeah, I did. Um, so that was yeah, it was quite strange, but it was it was strange, but there was quite a lot of other girls on the course, and one guy actually, but um brilliant uh women who were yeah, who were um who were not pregnant, so um, but a lot of them already had children and things like that. So yeah, it was quite um but it I think the reason was I actually did it was because the studio I was working at part-time um whilst I was doing my my events job, they they um wanted they had a pregnancy yoga teacher, but she couldn't teach the classes anymore because she'd moved away. So then they and I was already teaching there regularly, and they said, Oh, would this be something you'd be interested in? Um, and we will help towards your training. So that's what what kind of sparked it off, really.
And I was thinking a lot of my friends by that point had already had children or they were pregnant, or you know, on that kind of journey already. So I thought, wow, actually, yeah, that does, yeah, why not? Like expand a little bit. Um, you know, one day I was hoping to be pregnant, so you know, I'd learn about that during the course as well, how the body changes and everything. So, so yeah, that's what led me onto it. And um yeah, it was it was such it sounds cheesy, it's such a magical course because which I wasn't expecting. Again, I kind of went into it thinking it'd be like my 200 hours training where it was like, you know, quite all about, you know, anatomy and um yeah, a kind of kind of quite traditional yoga um philosophy and all this kind of stuff was actually which it was, it still had those elements in, but it was actually a group of women coming together, and even when we were doing the training together, it was it was kind of a different dynamic. It like we we also uh my teacher as well, she it wasn't just um we we obviously had all the pranayamas and stuff, but there were lots of other practices to help you connect with your baby as well, so not just about you and your body but connecting with your baby, so um Bramari breath, uh focus breathing as well, all to do with um and heart to wound breath, and the the course itself was based on the teachings of Uma Dinsmorthuli, who you know who wrote uh Yoni Shakti.
SPEAKER_0019:34
So um I've spoken about I thought I think I've spoken about her book a couple of times, but I I'm gonna pop in the show notes um about Uma. You can find out about her. She is quite an incredible lady, and she's um special, she's kind of bought Yoga Nidra, made it very popular, didn't she, as well?
SPEAKER_0219:53
Yeah, her and her husband, yeah, with Yoga Nitra, but she's kind of really yeah, she's I think she's amazing, she's awesome. Um, and she actually actually called out a lot of the um yoga scandals, I suppose, and yeah, um male mistreatment of women in those arenas in the like 70s, 80s, 90s and stuff. Um she's quite activist, yeah. Yeah, and then that's what and like you know, a lot of the practices within the course were to do with her teachings with her, you know, with centred around the womb, different stages of a woman's life. Obviously, we were focusing on the motherhood stage, but I love Yoni Shakti and how it goes through all the the different transitions in a woman's life. Um, and I've cut I actually came back to it the other day, like a perimenopause thing, yeah, and it's all in there, it's all in this book, it's like a Bible, yeah. Um and um yeah, so so I just like it just learning all of that stuff as well, and her Yoga Nidras are very kind of um visual as well, and um yeah, just a kind of magical visualizations um within the um the classes as well, with the pregnancy classes, it's it we did a lot of chanting, singing, um, which were things that I hadn't experienced before. Right. Um and that's why and that kind of and I feel like that was quite feminine to to be doing that, and um it kind of really I did it, it aroused something in me that it's hard to describe, but um just
SPEAKER_0022:00
circling this because yeah it sounds it sounds amazing and actually it sounds like it to really changed your it was like a a re-education after your initial teacher training but just for anyone that's listening that's like I don't know what Yoga Nidra is Yoga Nidra is um well you can tell us Vic what's Yoga Nidra I was about to explain it um how would you yeah yoga nitra and that was as that was my first initiation to Yoga Nidra in the pregnancy as well.
SPEAKER_0222:38
Oh really so yoga yeah yeah I'd never I'd not done one before that and um yeah so um which is I use it all the time in my pregnancy classes as well um it's a so it's a guide a form of guided relaxation so lie we do it lying down and lots of cushions support underneath you blankets people wear eye pillows things like that um I like to say to my students with set up your little nest your yoga nidra nest that kind of and um and the idea being that you can lie in stillness and making sure you're nice and warm because your body temperature drops when you're lying and usually the it depends on the length but usually from around 20 minutes sometimes half an hour um is the usual kind of timing for one of these relaxations so you you lie down and then your teacher will systematically um guide you into a state of deep relaxation so by shutting out the senses so your sense of hearing your sight with your eyes closed down your sense of touch sense of taste um and then really feeling and being aware of the body so I will go through each whenever yoga no yoga nidra teacher depending on the order will go through parts of the body and ask you to become aware of those body parts and then at the same time release them and then you move around the whole sphere of the body um feeling being aware of the body but being aware of it being in deep rest um and the whole time listening to the sound of the voice so the teacher's voice um and then I always set a sankalpa so an intention as well before we move into the body the rest of the body relaxation for so a sankalpa being your intention that deep wish for yourself something that you want to cultivate in your life in the in the living real real worlds so I always say like a way in which you'd like to be or feel so a positive statement in the future for example I want to I am at ease I am joyful I am whatever it is for you and and then as we go through these layers of consciousness um the body being fully relaxed we then we can then access these kind of deeper layers of the mind beneath the tension that's maybe held in the body beneath the noise of your thoughts and they say that when you're in this state you're in your brain waves are in I think it's alpha your activity goes from alpha theta to theta so this is this kind of place in between being awake and being asleep.
SPEAKER_0025:59
They call it the the yogic sleep don't they but you're not yogic sleep yeah you're not asleep are you it's really it's so beautiful and I've done a couple of VIX ones you you do it so beautifully I remember we did a little uh women's online women's circle didn't we in COVID times do you remember we did that and it was so lovely we just did it for a short while and I remember joining in because we were co-hosting it but joining in to one of yours and it you do it so beautifully and it really is it's a magical yeah it's a space in between isn't it you're so relaxed and yet at the same time you're fully in your awareness yeah so yeah it's it's an aware sleep isn't it it's um yeah I've had some really amazing ones as well where I've I don't know where I've gone because sometimes it can feel can't can't it like you've you've fallen asleep maybe and that does that is a byproduct that can happen.
SPEAKER_0227:04
Yeah um but but then you but you also you go somewhere else but listening so your sense of hearing is the only thing really that switched on um and yeah it's just when whenever any of my students practice it they especially for the first time I love seeing them afterwards this kind of like you know the yoga stoned look but with yoga nitra it's just like it's even more so and I always get people as well to have a pad and pen nearby because I found when I when I practice Yoga Nidra sometimes like things come up um and I like to think of it as that's my kind of inner inner voice telling me something um and when you are in this state state of deep rest I think you can yeah you're just open to hearing what those voices are um definitely yeah so I love it it's my favourite and I do it especially as since becoming a mother I that's been my go-to practice really yeah honestly it's been my life saver that yeah because you know we've not had you don't have time to you don't have time to roll out a mat and do an hour's um you know practice it doesn't work like that but I think the most it's one of the most yoga nidra is one of the most accessible practices um at that moment maybe when you think I might have a nap I always go for a yoga nidra because so what would you say are the main benefits you know if someone's not done it before and they're like I'm not quite sure I know obviously it sounds super relaxing you talked about accessing your inner voice which is something I think is so vital really important but what would you what would you say are the main benefits and who's it for um so the benefits I'd say for me are it's it energizes me um so especially if I've not had much sleep and and in in general if you're not sleeping well yoga ninja practice in the daytime or evening or whenever you're doing it can help give a better quality of sleep overall um and it helps with stress anxiety because you're kind of overriding that physical stress response coming into your um rest and digest yeah um your parasympathetic nervous system switches on so you're really regulating your nervous system and I think that in itself is just so invaluable as especially from such a short practice you know 20 minutes half an hour yeah is a really accessible thing and um so I'd say for anyone it's it's for anyone who feels like life is moving so really fast for them they feel anxious they feel overwhelmed and it's really a time where you can come back to yourself and feel what's going on pause feel what's going on but also get these kind of really amazing benefits of um topping up your sleep they I read something somewhere that said that the 20 minutes of yoga nidra or half an hour of yoga nidra is equivalent to three hours of sleep I don't know I don't know if that's scientifically proven but um that's what I read somewhere yeah wow that's amazing isn't it yeah I love that um and I really like to kind of highlight Yoga Nidra more because I think so many times the relaxation part of yoga is kind of like oh that's the quick bit at the end um you know.
I've done a couple of posts and talked about this before but it's actually especially now so vital isn't it for everyone to really be slowing down more and more and more because we're so and in fact you did a post the other day or was it you I think so I was talking about this yang male energy all the time go go go especially in this like fire horse season that we're in or year that we're in and how we do need to especially as women switch into that slower paced side and tune into that feminine energy and that just actually stop and relax more and more yeah yeah it's definitely true and and yeah it's it's true for so many things that are going on in the world at the moment as well I think like obviously it's all really masculine fire driven um and that's the way in which our society is set up to to work harder work as hard as you can you know always be on the go be productive make make as much money as you can it's like all these things are things that are valued um and I think as well becoming a mother has really kind of highlighted that to me as well that that those kind of roles kind of slower nurturing caring roles in our society just aren't valued and so practices such as Yoga Nidra I think are quite um I don't know it's kind of radical quite um radical yeah that's what I was looking for. I mean they are like I think and seeing rest and these practices as um as necessary and not something that should and not something that means you're lazy.
So I think I had very much had that attitude of because I was in that environment a fast paced environment of like taking a nap is just like oh you could if you're doing that like you you're being lazy you're not yeah because you could have spent that time doing something but actually it's it is doing something it's a necessary thing to keep you vital to keep you yeah balanced and um yeah I could talk for days about about that but that's also that's also why I love yin yoga um um because of you know it's that idea of completely slowing down and pausing and feeling and um yeah and then and that being a necessary thing to the yang the doing side of your life so tell me a perfect moment so again I know very little about yin so I haven't spoken about it here but you are you are the expert here so tell so if someone hasn't heard of what yin yoga or been to a class what is yin yoga how would you describe it as a practice.
So I would say yin yoga is kind of is based on a lot of the poses that you will all already know from a a standard hatha class um hatha yoga class but it's much much slower so poses are held for a longer period of time from three to five minutes some people go like the you know masters and people can go further along and go a lot longer um but holding the poses with support so with props and the idea is that we but spending time in these poses allows the body to go deeper um but it's a gradual process so taking that time is time over intensity so using that time to slowly release into a pose rather than kind of go to your deepest edge of the pose straight away and yeah it's based it's rather than um hatha yoga or more dynamic practices where we work on muscles the muscle engagement and we flow from pose to pose in sequences in yin yoga we have very few poses sometimes only like five or six poses in a class in an hour and um we'll we'll work because we're holding these poses for longer we're working more into the fascia which is the connective tissue that holds it's like that web that holds all everything together your muscles your bones joints and we also work into the joints as well amazing um and which and and fascia is um a really interesting thing because it yeah it's often where we hold a lot of tension in our bodies and um and yin as well also it's it's very much about how the pose feels rather than how it looks so I know not all teachers teach like this in Hathiah classes is all generalization but you know you're looking at a certain shape generally for people to get through with with modifications um whereas yin we kind of start with a very we start with a very modified version and then the option is to go deeper over time.
And do you do you use the breath to help you get deeper into the pose is that a big part of it as well yeah so we we use a a lot of the same panayamas that we'd use um in in our usual yoga classes um indefinitely we use might use the breath so I'll weave in some breathing practices to start with and also within the pose themselves poses themselves so yes 100% the breath and um and energy um is a hundred percent the part of the practice um the philosophy behind it is is not the traditional um yoga philosophy so it even though it takes the poses it um is actually it's based on um traditional Chinese medicine and Taoist Taoist um philosophy which really believe really works with the natural rhythm of nature and that we are part of we are part of nature so very similar principles just um to yoga and um rather than having so so in in yoga we have meridians which are these energy channels that run through the body so if you've ever been to acupuncture yeah yeah they work with these meridian lines as well and placing them in different places around the body each of those meridian points is connected to an organ in the body and and when we place our bodies in certain positions and put uh pressure on these various meridians we when we come out of the pose we release qi uh which is life force energy prana in everyone will know it um so it it's all about these energy pathways in the body and how we can going into certain poses say for example I might do a pose that is based on the kidneys and the spleen which um we would move into certain poses that connect these um meridian points um and that will be connected to your so certain like if you're in a certain stage in your life where maybe you're feeling anxious yeah you're feeling inward then we would work on these or you're feeling down depressed we'd work on the kidneys and there are various different areas um of the body that you would work on depending on yeah where you are for example I you yeah I've been using I've been using it because I had yeah last year I had a miscarriage actually and that was a massive loss of blood in my body um and any anyone who gives birth actually is it's a huge um it's a huge loss of blood and fluids so then your my blood was depleted so I needed to work on my kidneys and spleen and so I I've been doing yin to work on that and that that this was guided by a a Chinese medicine doctor by the way um I didn't just google it um but um yeah I so I've really but it it works yin yoga works in system with traditional Chinese medicine and I just find it fascinating and do you know I'm learning I'm learning so much here because like like I said to everyone full disclosure I know nothing about yin I think I've done maybe one one of your classes and I had no idea that the poses worked on the meridians in the body that is absolutely fascinating. So it's very therapeutic really you can use it very therapeutically as in yeah no yeah yeah a hundred percent and um I've not actually had any I don't actually have any oh no I did have one on one um yin client who was interested in yin before so I could kind of tailor it around around her um I mean we are not I'm a yin yoga teacher I'm not a traditional Chinese medicine doctor so it's it's this I can't diagnose someone and then give them practices based on that but yeah me for me personally like having been to someone I can work on that and in general it's a for I think for people who are looking for something to slow themselves down and a gentle practice um maybe they're healing from something like I have a lot quite a lot of mums in my class as well um who are all healing and just needs more support um and it's that it's just the perfect practice for that.
It actually came about as a so the guy the guy that kind of brought it discovered it I suppose or kind of fused together the traditional Indian yoga philosophy um poses with um Chinese philosophy was um actually a kung fu master so he and he wanted some thing to help um support his uh martial art so um this is and that's another that's the one amazing benefit of yin yoga as well as like coming into your uh parasympathetic nervous system and um nervous system regulation is um it can really help with your mobility and flexibility yeah and that's what he wanted he wanted to have that flexibility on the side of the martial arts so he could kick his leg higher in the end and then yeah so it's quite interesting so it came from that and then it and then then in the 70s it then came in with you know when yoga was emerging in this in the 70s as well from India fascinating um in the western world yeah um and then it kind of um a lot of teachers took it on um yeah yeah wow it's really fascinating and and again really interesting how you know it was um I was gonna I'll say use the word invented that's not the word I'm looking for but it was created by a guy doing something very masculine and I feel like the women are probably taking it over now and like just gone yeah this is ours yeah I think no a lot of the teachers are still male there's a there's a really famous teacher called Sarah Powers who's yeah but like she but she yeah they it's yeah no it's I really wish more men would do it um and I'm sure there's lots of men practicing it out there but um but I feel like it's a thing that um it's just it's just a really great practice as a supplement to maybe some something else more dynamic that you do. So a lot of people who are runners for example it's great it's so great um and and I find that I can really in in yin you you really because you have that time you kind of have a bit more of respect for your body because you you're taking that time to notice how it's feeling and then taking action to where you want to go in the pose rather than going into a pose so I was finding a lot of the times in some of my dynamic practices I was kind of going into poses and then afterwards having injuries or feeling like I shouldn't have done that and but now I find because I do more yin more regularly in my other classes because I still do vinyassa vinyasa practice as well I I modify a lot more I like say no actually like this morning for example I had my class this morning that I attended my with my teacher online and um I was just feeling so tired because my little boy been up last night and I was no just didn't have its energy so I didn't do the full expressions of the poses I just did modified versions because I knew that if I that part of my you know that part of your brain I think it's the ego isn't it that wants to go into the you know so I can do that I used to be able to do that I can do it but actually right now right now you can't and I think having those that extra time in yin poses really makes you aware it makes you realise that you need to listen rather than take action first like pause listen to your body and then then decide where to go from there.
SPEAKER_0047:55
I love that I love that I think that's that's so something that really needs to be cultivated more and more and that's something that a message that I'm really trying to put out there is that we need to just tune in and listen like drop what it needs to look like drop what it should be like drop the expectation drop the ego and just really because so many people are just not listening to their bodies are they they're just on autopilot like go go go caffeine caffeine just and overstimulation and we but I know a lot of people that just don't know what's going on in their bodies like they just have no idea because they're not tuned in they're not listening yeah no and that's and that's why and that's that's why I love teaching because there's some obviously there's some tough cookies to crack as you know but like being able to see someone have that realization and and connect with themselves again makes me so happy um and yeah I just that's why kind of even that you know now I'm teaching a mixture of online and in person but even online I just I love the fact that it means that someone can access that yeah um without having to go to you know studio or anything and and that all these practices are so accessible aren't they?
SPEAKER_0249:46
And people yeah that were worrying about what the pose looks like and and also even thinking about going to a class like so many people when you and you say have you tried yoga have you tried this oh no I'm not flexible yeah um that old chestnut that's always the thing isn't it I'm not flexible so I can't do it um and that's how I'm really passionate about just getting to those people and making them realise no it doesn't have to be like that you don't have to be flexible it's not about it's so much more than the physical side of it um yeah yeah that's part of our work but um but yeah it's um yeah I love yin I'm all for the yin I used to be more yang but I'm I'm all here for the yin now tell me tell me about um and you by the way you're doing amazing because uh we had a little catch up before I press record and Paul Vic's been like I'm knackered I've been up most of the night with my little one and it's you you know having a two and a half year old oh my god I mean I don't know to all you mamas out there and to you Vic and actually this could make me cry it makes me feel quite emotional I don't know how you do it I struggle with my little life and my fur babies you know I've got three my three furry babies I don't know how you function and I just think you're all incredible by the way so thank you mums and if you need to hear this today you're fucking amazing by the way and I'm talking to you Vic as well I honestly I just think you're all amazing and I'd love to hear from you Vic because I I obviously you're my one of my closest friends and I love you dearly so we talk often um but you live in Spain so I don't get to see you anymore but but I'd love to hear from you how um how motherhood has has changed your practice I mean I think that's probably a really big question for you but I'd love to hear yeah so it's it's changed a lot so the physical side of the practice um when I was pregnant um obviously my body changed quite a lot um and I was actually teaching pregnancy yoga at the time when I was pregnant as well and it really made that change everything for me and as to how I would teach my pregnancy classes in the future because I realised the physical toll of pregnancy on your body is so crazy like you're you you know everything changes and so I I felt like my practice started to slow down and become a lot more gentle um as well and I I used I I I was actually meditating much more during that time to deal with hormonal changes which were like roller coaster um one minute you're fine next minute you're just sobbing inconsolably um and so yeah so and then I was used I was doing a lot of yoga nitra as well um because I need that rest um and also I think being pregnant you realise that it's it's not just you it's not just your body you you're thinking about nourishing someone else and I think of quite often for women it's the first time that we actually start treating ourselves well when we're pregnant it's like you know obviously you have to you have to not drink not smoke if people do that and all those kind of things and like eat well it's like well why couldn't I was sat there like why why couldn't I do this properly before that's interesting. Like why why did I treat my body but I'll treat this sacred baby in this way but when it was me I didn't so it was kind of a big wake up call there um and then after the birth um after I had well all the tools from pregnancy yoga massively helped with the actual birth itself um you know with anxiety around birth um the actual physical labour of it itself which is insane so having definitely having that practice before having the strength um stability from the asanas but also the poses but also from the meditation breathing exercises to help with focus to help um to set um mantras all these kind of things um that I used during the labour were were so so useful um and after the after I'd had um my baby um yeah I mean your your body your body's just it's just kind of like ripped open it sounds graphic but like ripped open in terms of like so when you were pregnant and you're practicing yoga it's more about kind of like um this feeling of opening and you know opening your pelvis opening your hips to get ready for this baby oh just like expanding and then when you have the baby it's like so you will you're just like everything's out there and it's just like oh and so postnatally it's really about drawing everything back in so that containment so you've gone from expansion to containment to yeah to contain bringing everything back in because it feels just so everything's not just physically everything's so overwhelming everything's new you don't know what you're doing you're not sleeping and you know your milk spurting out of your breast messy new and it's like yeah and I I I often think of it as like a kind of like a caterpillar that's gone into this cocoon and then they've like opened out um and you're like this this big transformation and um and so after that it was for me it was kind of about okay bringing everything back to yourself then again and healing and recovering um which is you know for the first three to six months all I did was breathing which is what I advise all my students to do in very gentle movement but it starts with breath deep abdominal breathing pelvic floor engagement and um yeah so but but during that time I was just I was doing that I was I was breathing um and I actually found that first three three to six months was actually a found because the babies you babies are smaller they sleep a bit longer so you actually you do get a bit more time to kind of do that um but then as as my baby anyway got older who's very active didn't like to sleep much at all um so and I was breastfeeding so I was like you know in the night sleeping with him waking up every hour or so and and that's when my kind of physical practice went out the window yeah um and it was very much then a more kind of breathing for regulation um and were you doing were you did you have time to do your yoga nidra then to try and help you with that lack of sleep and the fatigue and the you know just general feeling of energy depletion in your body after the birth yeah yeah so it was mostly that I was I was it was yoga nidras mostly and and so my body really really tightened up but actually I didn't have the energy to bring to a physical practice I just didn't so and that would really it would really get you know make me down because I was so used to being such a physical person I was teaching like six seven eight classes a week I was you know I was always moving to go from that to suddenly like sat there feeding or you know just not moving I felt like my it didn't my body it didn't feel like I belonged in my body anymore and my body had like completely changed and yeah it's it's such a big identity crisis becoming a mother not crisis but it's it's such a big identity change because everything you thought you were you're now not and so during that time you know breathing exercises nidra but also like you know lending you know looking at yoga philosophy it was a lot of like ahimsa you know non-harming like self-love like yeah those kind of those kind of practices thinking about kind thoughts to myself staying truthful to my to to my situation accepting where I was was the kind of that was my yoga practice and still is um but that that was the practice um because it's so hard because that you know I I see women now coming into my postnatal classes and being like oh I used to be able to do like you know whatever it was whatever pose really easily and now I can and um I just feel so weak and I feel and it's it's horrible because you yeah you you feel you feel not yourself and um weak but actually this was my Chinese medicine doctor as well reminded me of the strength and energy that it took to make a baby to birth them create look after them that that is huge that is like what you've that's your strength like that is this yeah this that's where all your energy is gone and yeah it's the yoga practice came to me in a just a different form for for that time in my life and it's only been actually these last six months or so where I've started to and you know my baby's two and a half and I've started to feel like not myself but a new version of me that has the energy to do some of the things that I did before in a different body um and a different um hat on I suppose but postnatal like people always think postnatal is just the first six months whatever or a year but it's it's just not it it just you know you always I think people recover in so many different ways don't they from things and and that's I I love teaching postnatal yoga as well because I really feel like women need those spaces to feel safe to to feel like you know they are getting some back to some movement but it's very gentle it's very my my classes of you know we all movement is very considered and it's all to do with bringing out the body back together um but meeting yourself where it is as well um yeah it sounds like there's a huge amount of obviously I'm not a mother so I haven't been through it but just from our conversations and what you're saying right now it sounds like a huge part of it is is to give birth you there's actually a death of your old self I don't know if this sounds right to you but there is like a yeah she's nodding yeah totally like a death of of the the old you the that was and so there needs to be this kind of integration of of an allowing and accepting of the new you in its new form and suddenly you also have a whole nother human being to care for and teach and nurture and um like you said it's not just about you and and knowing women and we've talked a bit about this on the podcast before and how hard we can be on ourselves like the expectation I can totally and and the self-criticism and the you know we really are hard on ourselves aren't we as women so I can totally imagine yeah that that container is actually really vital do you do you think there's enough support for women after they give birth in this way no no no not at all and it goes back to what I was saying earlier about you know we're living in a a world like a patriarchal kind of society what that values you know that kind of productive doing seeing as you know the nine to five and stuff so when uh when you're in that postpartum period it's this un unpaid or unacknowledged labour that that mothers do you know with if you are you know feeding through the night if you are whatever you're doing you're caring for your baby all day all night you're breastfeeding you're all these kind of things they are just not acknowledged as important I think in society so then there isn't that support structure in place for people and and also you know situations in the way which we live now compared to women lived before you know we we all live far away from family maybe we you know we're in houses apartments on our own where people don't really know the neighbours that well it's actually really interesting living here in Spain Because when I first had uh raising my baby, he um we there wasn't like it was just me and my my my husband here, and we have friends and things like that, but we're essentially on our own.
SPEAKER_001:06:17
And um because your parents, uh ever your rest of your family is still here in the UK, aren't they?
SPEAKER_021:06:24
Yeah, they're in the UK, and like my sister who I've got a twin sister who I'm really really close to, and you know, my family and friends are all in the UK, so we're here we're here on our own, and we you know it was re it's really hard not having like a mum or a sister or someone to pop in and see how you are, or if you're sick, someone to come and help, and all these kind of things, and actually living here in Spain, they are the the culture here and they're very much set up, they're very much set up as a family structure. So the family structure is very strong, and they often you know families live close to each other. Usually the grandparents so the parents are quite a bit younger because they had their children, they have their children younger or used to. Um I know it's changing more now, but um but but but the support network, your family network are very you know are close by, and even in the apartments that we're living in now, actually, there's it's quite a lot of um elderly people living here, and they always have their grandchildren staying with them. They would they walk them to school, you know. Yeah, and it's it's really nice, but uh, but that's something that a lot of us, especially in the UK, I know it's it's you know it's different there now, and everyone's kind of spread out, and over here, like there are you know, I know lots of different mums who've um immigrants from other countries that are living here, and um it's yeah, it's really it's really tough. Must be um yeah, not having the the network to rely on. Um but um you know we in a way we have been kind of creating that here for ourselves. Um I'm now working with a community, so a mother's community that a couple of girls I know here have set up um to provide um classes for moms and babies. Um like I've been teaching yoga classes and they do events and things like that, so to kind of pull pull as kind of nomadic mums together and families together, so yeah, create their own little community, yeah. Yeah, your own yeah, tribe um of people to help, but yeah, it's it's tough, yeah.
SPEAKER_001:09:08
It must be, it must be. I do I do think that is, and I know we've talked about it quite a lot. Um one of the problems in our society at the moment is that probably choice and opportunities and remote working has pulled communities apart. Um, you know, in the old days you did live next door to your whole family, extended family, you know. And um, I think cultures where they really like you were saying in Spain, the family is most important. I just think that's that people do better, don't they? They're happier, they seem to do better. Um, I think it's a healthier way to be, especially you know, as a mum, needing your tribe, your women around you to help, and yeah. Oh so thank you so much for for talking. I think we probably need to, I could talk to you, you know, forever. But we are um we're at that just over an hour. Um, and I'm sure there's loads more things that we could talk about, motherhood-wise, and barely touched on pregnancy yoga. So if you'd be happy, maybe you could come back another time and do another one with me.
SPEAKER_021:10:40
Yeah, of course. I've loved it. The time's gone so quickly. Yeah, yeah, so nice. Sorry, I've I think I've got there's banging going on upstairs, but hopefully it's not too loud and you can't hear it.
SPEAKER_001:10:53
Don't worry. One of my doggies was uh huffing and puffing halfway through. It's real life. We'll keep it really real here on the podcast. Uh, before you go, and thank you so much. I've loved every minute because I love you, by the way. Um, I don't want to get too gushy. But you are an amazing friend, so thank you. Um, I've got some little quick fire questions. I didn't do this with my last guest, but um, if you'd be happy, it's quite fun. Um, it's little, I can't remember who did it first. Another interviewer, I don't know, I don't know who it was, or if I heard it on another podcast. It's nothing new, but these are all yoga questions, and it's like a quick fire round. Imagine you're on a game show, but there's no buzzers. I'm gonna ask you questions, all yoga related, and I'm gonna ask you just to not even think about it, just say the first answer that comes off the top of your head, okay? Okay, you're ready. One, two, three.
unknown1:12:00
Yes.
SPEAKER_001:12:02
Okay, what is yoga? Freedom, consciousness is awareness. There's no right or wrong answers, it's just you. My favourite or current meditation practice is Yoga Nidra.
SPEAKER_021:12:29
Beautiful.
SPEAKER_001:12:31
Leggings or baggy pants? Baggy pants. I'm in them right now. Me too, all the way. Uh favorite yoga pose. Oh child's pose. Must read yoga bookslash scripture or text.
SPEAKER_021:13:03
Yoni Shakti by Umadins Motulis, my fave.
SPEAKER_001:13:09
Uh what one yoga related item would you take to a desert island? Yoga related item. Could be a book, could be a mat, could be whatever.
SPEAKER_021:13:27
Maybe a bolster. Good chance. Take a bolster. Good choice. You can hug it if you get lonely on the island.
SPEAKER_001:13:41
Love that. Carlton. Ashram or yoga retreat. Ashram. Devotion for me looks like devotion for me looks like loving myself. And last question. I I'll leave the best to a last. Karma is Oh Karma.
SPEAKER_021:14:22
Karma is what is karma for me? Karma is It's thoughtful action. Thoughtful action and words.
SPEAKER_001:14:41
Amazing. Well, thank you so much, Vic. It's been a pleasure, and um, it's been amazing to talk to you about your life, motherhood, and all of these beautiful things. So thank you. Oh, thanks so much for having me. It's been a pleasure. I'll talk to you really soon. Okay, bye.
unknown1:15:05
Take care.
SPEAKER_001:15:08
Thank you so much for listening to the Be Still and Notice podcast. I really hope you enjoyed this episode and perhaps it even added something to your life. If you know someone that might benefit, please share this episode with them, and of course, a review would be so much appreciated. Please find all the information relating to this episode, including relevant links, in the show notes. And until next time, sending you so much love and light on your path to yoga.